just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
