I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Someone signed my nipple.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
