Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize