who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
