Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
