Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
