That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Say something about gay babies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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