Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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