Apparently you make a good broom.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
