Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
