Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize