3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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