Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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