Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
