i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
3 2 1 whiskey
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
