Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish i was in the wii world.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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