she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
