the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
