Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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