I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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