It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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