absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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