My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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