wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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