I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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