If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
