Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
