there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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