I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So. Much. Porn.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
