Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
