I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We need to rekindle our bromance
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
