my soul wont recognize me after tonight
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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