Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
