you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
