Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize