this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
