I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
