i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
