We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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