It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
