dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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