He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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