i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
