Joe is yelling at the trees again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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