umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
