I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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