This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
