I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
