i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize