brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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