He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
