the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
