woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
