we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
