Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
