Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
