just tell him i said nine months
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it because I queefed?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
