Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
