I got chris browned last night
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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