Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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