So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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