I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
